Read more about ..

For all you smokers, & midnight tokers:

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint

unknown

When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, ‘Hey Koala! What are you doing?’
1____unknown2____unknown
The koala said, ‘Smoking a joint, come up and have some.’
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.  After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was ‘dry’ and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

3____unknown

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. 
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, ‘What’s the matter with you?’

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

4____unknown

‘Hey you!’

So the koala looked down at him and said,

5____unknown

‘Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude….
How much water did you drink!?’

Motivational posters

Only In America-Irony in words..

Only in  America  ……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in  America ….do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in  America …..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in  America…..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in  America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in  America …..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER …

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle forlethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?