{"id":682,"date":"2009-02-25T13:33:25","date_gmt":"2009-02-25T18:33:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/?p=682"},"modified":"2009-02-25T13:33:25","modified_gmt":"2009-02-25T18:33:25","slug":"only-in-america-irony-in-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/only-in-america-irony-in-words\/","title":{"rendered":"Only In America-Irony in words.."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Only in\u00a0 America\u00a0 &#8230;&#8230;do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.<\/p>\n<p>Only in\u00a0 America &#8230;.do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.<\/p>\n<p>Only in\u00a0 America &#8230;..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.<\/p>\n<p>Only in\u00a0 America&#8230;..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.<\/p>\n<p>Only in\u00a0 America&#8230;&#8230;do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.<\/p>\n<p>Only in\u00a0 America &#8230;..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.<\/p>\n<p>EVER WONDER &#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens<br \/>\nour skin?<\/p>\n<p>Why women can&#8217;t put on mascara with their mouth closed?<\/p>\n<p>Why don&#8217;t you ever see the headline &#8216;Psychic Wins Lottery&#8217;?<\/p>\n<p>Why is &#8216;abbreviated&#8217; such a long word?<\/p>\n<p>Why is it that doctors call what they do &#8216;practice&#8217;?<\/p>\n<p>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?<\/p>\n<p>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?<\/p>\n<p>Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?<\/p>\n<p>Why isn&#8217;t there mouse-flavored cat food?<\/p>\n<p>Why didn&#8217;t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?<\/p>\n<p>Why do they sterilize the needle forlethal injections?<\/p>\n<p>You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don&#8217;t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!<\/p>\n<p>Why don&#8217;t sheep shrink when it rains?<\/p>\n<p>Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?<\/p>\n<p>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?<\/p>\n<p>If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Only in\u00a0 America\u00a0 &#8230;&#8230;do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in\u00a0 America &#8230;.do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in\u00a0 America &#8230;..do banks leave both doors open and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[627,301,635,116],"class_list":["post-682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word","tag-america","tag-humor","tag-irony","tag-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=682"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":684,"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682\/revisions\/684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.majik.org\/cruxenrose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}